the latest

I can't believe it's been 2 months since I've done this. Anyways since my last post I have been focused on a lot of things. I've been reading through the New Testament regularly since I was saved and I'm reading it with an interest that I didn't have before. I grew up in the church and read parts of the Bible all the time but never like this. I'm reading it and everything is so new. I'm actually learning about Jesus and the apostles. I've only read to the 14th chapter of Acts but when I was reading before I was saved it was like I'd read a section of scripture, listen to what whoever had to say and believe that. Now I read it and I learn from it. I don't wait for someone to tell me what the Bible says, I read it for myself and have my own viewpoints. It's really cool. That is the most important and exciting thing that has happened so far. Besides that I've been learning to climb poles at the electric dept., which is scary but really fun at the same time. Mainly because I can climb up there and be a part of the work and learn. It's also exciting because the more I learn about electricity the more marketable I become. So that's cool. anyways it's like 2 in the morning and I'm going to bed.

it's been a looooong time

Well a lot has happened since my last post. One big thing in particular has changed. I was thinking about my salvation and I didn't really remember why I did it. I felt like there was a lot of doubt in it. I think that I did it without really committing to it. Anyway I had doubts and I was at wal-mart thinking about it. I really wanted to nail it down and not worry about that. I thought about the problems that I was dealing with and I realized that I had never actually trusted and had faith that God was going to do anything for me. So I called my pastor and talked with him and I gave my life to Jesus. I know that now without any doubt. I think about the problems that I was dealing with and they are pretty selfish. Also another reason that I doubted was because I don't ever remember actually wanting to read the Bible and learn about God. Now I actually want to get deeper into God's Word and I really want to serve God. But most importantly I always thought about if I was really a Christian and what people would think if I went down there to get it right. When I decided to make that decision I didn't care what anyone thought. I wanted to know for sure and not worry. I didn't care if the preacher, sunday school teachers, or anybody else didn't like it. I had decided to follow Jesus. Well I'm gonna go because it's late.

Praise God for what He has given all of us.

The Attic News Vol.3

Recipe For Humble Pie5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus,8 And being found in appearance as a man , He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.Philippians 2:5,8A while back I was venting to my wife about why things weren't happening with the direction we were going and why I couldn't have things that I wanted. I wondered why I couldn't do things that make me "happy". My wife told me that maybe I was learning humility. That kind of made me angry because I thought, how much more humility do I need? I didn't do anything but try to follow God's will. Well this was a while back and I haven't thought about it until now as I was reading the Bible verse mentioned above. Now I think back and say how arrogant can you be to even think about that question. The Creator of the Universe, Almighty, The Alpha and The Omega, The KING OF KINGS wasn't above sending His own Son to live and die an extremely cruel death among us. We aren't worth it. We aren't worthy of existing in His universe and he still sent his Son to show the perfect recipe for humble pie. I think that I overlooked that when I thought that I should be exempt from my slice of pie. I was starting to develop the attitude that is ruining our world. The attitude of me before anyone else, and I need to do absolutely anything to succeed at any cost. I am grateful for this verse because it puts me in my place and helps me realize that I am not in control. It is not up to me to decide whether or not I need humility. I think that as I learn to be more humble I will be a lot happier throughout my day.Other thoughts.......Read Isaiah 40:31Also I like this poem although it is the first one I have read in a long time but it has a good message. Check it out if you have time: The Builders by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The Attic News Vol.2

I'm DoneI have been in a pretty bad depression lately and I've been dwelling on every negative thought that comes into my mind. I will sit and think about everything that can go wrong with every decision I make. I've been doing this for a while and I think that I'm being attacked for trying to step up and take a role in the church. But as the title states I am done. I have been feeling like this and not enjoying my family. I haven't been working like I would if I was working for God. I WILL take every day as it comes and not worry about tommorrow. I am tired of it. I think that I doubt myself so much that if I don't make a stand now and end it I will never do anything. I feel like I've been lukewarm and I think that's exactly where satan wants me. I have thought to myself, How am i going to be effective working at two jobs and teaching in the church? The answer is I won't be effective. I HAVE to rely on God for this and I believe that God through me will be much more effective at all three jobs than I would at one. I believe that I am dry ground as mentioned in Isaiah 53:1-2a NIV "1 Who has believed our message and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed? 2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground". I believe that Jesus will grow in me because a "tender shoot" cannot grow out of "dry ground" except if it is the Lord's will because anything is possible if you believe. I also believe that by working and teaching for Jesus instead of thinking for myself "rain" will fall on me and He will do more in me. I remember when I was about to quit Halliburton and I was talking to my best friend Matt about the situation. I was telling him that I didn't know if it would be a good idea to quit this job because I was making a lot of money and my family could probably be set for life. But I didn't feel like I was called to go work in the oilfield. I felt like I was called to minister only. And I was torn between the two. Much to my surprise he told me that he felt like I was in a great place. I kinda thought that he was crazy but he told me that he thought that God is going to do great things in me. Well since then we have survived and I think that we could have been living a great life since then if I wouldn't have doubted. I can't do anything about that but I can change today. I think that Matthew 6:24 is a good verse about putting money and God in perspective: "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.". I think that it's interesting that Jesus goes on to talk about not worrying about things in the following verses. And He says "But seek first his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33. To me it sounds like Jesus knew that people were going to worry about material things then as well as today. It's hard for us to comprehend that. We don't know how to function unless we control where our future is going and how we're going to get paid. I have seen this firsthand. I want to totally rely on God and not worry about material things. I know it will be hard but only because it's a human thing to worry like that. It's unnatural for us to rely on someone else providing for us especially someone we can't see. But again as the title states: I'm Done. I'm not relying on me anymore. I have to rely on God. My family needs a leader that relies on a God that can provide above and beyond anything that they or I could have imagined. So finally I'm starting to think that I am in a great place and that God will work in me. I'm done with me.Later.

The Attic News Vol.1

I don't think that I'm going to be very regular about this because I don't have much time through the week, but I'm going to at least try to get one done a week. I have been going to R.A's on wednesday nights to see if I would be interested in it and I finally decided to let the preacher know that I wanted to be officially involved. He was really excited about that and thought it would be a great idea. After I talked to him I was asked to teach the youth for two Sundays. I usually think that I need to wait and learn more so I can be a teacher. It's like waiting for the perfect conditions before you take another step because you don't know if you're going to succeed or fail. But I had been thinking like this for weeks and I was tired of weighing the options so I just decided to take the step. Honestly I don't think that I'm ready to teach anybody anything yet, but I believe that God will take care of that. And I think that God doesn't want us to sit still and wait for the perfect moment. I think that God would agree that if you don't ever try to do anything you will never know if you can succeed at it. I'm not trying to speak for God, but in the Bible there are numerous stories of God calling people to do his will and they don't feel like they are the right person for the job. In the end they follow God and they succeed even though they are convinced that they are the wrong person. Well I'm the wrong person in my eyes, but God feels that I'm the right person so I'm going to pursue it.In other news.........I passed six tests in my first 90 days book at work. I've also started climbing poles which is really exciting and scary at the same time. I want to be the best at what I do but I sometimes feel like I shouldn't because I am wanting to do things in the ministry. I think that I should try to be the best I can be at ministry and not worry about my other job. I also fear that I will try so hard at my other job that I won't be thinking about working in the church. I don't know maybe I can do both. I might post more later but right now I have to go so see ya.

The Attic News pilot issue

Well I decided that I would give this a shot. I have been reading a couple of other blogs and thought it might be interesting. This morning I actually got up the first time the alarm went off and I had enough time to get prepared for the day. It seems kinda weird because when I was at Halliburton the phone would ring and I would be awake almost instantly because of the on-call all the time status. Anyway I woke up at 6 and got ready but I waited until like 7:45ish to leave the house. I always do that and I think it's because I want to be with my family as much as possible before I have to be seperated from them for the entire day. Krystle gets mad about that but I think it keeps me going when I'm at work. Usually when I go to work I feel like I am bombarded with thoughts about regretting things that I've done, feeling like a failure, or wondering if I put my family in this situation where we have less income and less options for quality of life. But I prayed during my quiet time for God to keep these thoughts out of my head and to speak to me. Well I got to work and I went out and did my pre-trip inspection. As I was doing this I started to think about the negative things and I prayed for God to help me during that time. I felt like it went away and I went about inspecting the truck. I was driving the truck around and I felt like God was speaking to me. It was like everything was flipped around about the negative thoughts. I felt like God was saying in a very blunt way : Justin you were discharged from the Marine Corps (this is a very big deal for me), you went from working at Wal-Mart to working at Halliburton and back to Wal-Mart And working for the City of Altus, you tried to go to college before and failed because of your lack of desire, you said you were going to go to school when you left Halliburton and you haven't done anything about it. All of that is true. But I didn't make you for that. I didn't want you to have a career in the military or at Halliburton. You are going to school (Southside Baptist Church) and you are making good progress. You don't have to go to a college to become a minister.Anyways after that I felt pretty peaceful like I didn't have to worry about the future. My biggest problem is that I am impatient and I want to do things right now. So I think that's a weakness that the devil uses to feed off of to get me depressed. So the rest of the day was pretty easy as far as that goes.Well I went to lunch with some of my co-workers at The Sizzla. I didn't like it that much just because they didn't have anything I really liked. I've been trying to be more sociable around them because I'm the new guy. When I am put into a new situation or job I tend to keep to myself so I come off as shy or like I don't care about anything. But really all I'm doing is seeing how people react to each other and trying to learn things. So it took like 30 min. for me to engage in a conversation with anyone. After that Mike and I washed the trucks off on a nice windy day. After work I made it as fast as I could to the house to squeeze every possible second I could with my family before I had to go to job#2. Right when I walk in the door my kids say Daddy! and my son starts wrestling with me at the same time that Berlyn is trying to show my her castle where Beauty and the Beast does not live and at the same time I'm taking my work boots off. Well this goes on for a while and after the dust settles I get something to eat and I have 5min. to get to work. I get there and start unloading the truck and moving pallets around. I don't really say much there either but it's for different reasons. I think that the guys wouldn't listen or they are used to doing things a certain way so I just go with the flow. That's pretty much it for right now mainly because it's 1:30 am and I want my bed. Later